whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
