you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
