Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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