So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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