I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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