I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
