Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
