Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

im gay

(203): View more from Connecticut

i know

(914): View more from New York

yea but for you.

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(210): View more from Texas

she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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(941): View more from Florida

I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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(+52): View more from Mexico

she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.

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(210): View more from Texas

I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.

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