She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
