Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize