I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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