I have demons in me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
