I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
