the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize