I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I CAN MOONWALK!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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