I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
