I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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