Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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