I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
