I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
