Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
