Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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