I'm eating all of the evidence.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
