I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
