so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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