Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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