I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
