YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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