pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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