Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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