His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
