his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
