Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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