I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
