like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize