margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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