I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
vagina is talking i cant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
