I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
