I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
