so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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