you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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