put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
