I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
