my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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