When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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