it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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