Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
