If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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