piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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