Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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