I hope mine doesn't look like that
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
