you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
