Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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