We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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