More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
