Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
