I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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