The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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